Self-accommodation
Written by Haley Andrew-Pels (Art Therapy Student)
It may feel like a recent phenomenon that diagnoses like autism, ADHD, and other neurotypes are becoming a much more frequent topic of conversation! I know there are some who are critical of this, citing things like “There never USED to be so many people with these!” and feeling like others should have to struggle because they have struggled. Self-diagnosis is another hot topic with some polarized opinions. However, regardless of where your beliefs fall, whether you’ve gone through the frankly inaccessible process to receive an “official” diagnosis or not, you can always take steps to better understand and accommodate yourself, to build a life that is kind to you.
One of the first steps, and perhaps the hardest, is practicing becoming more in-touch with your body and inner world. Thinking about questions like “What sensations or experiences are uncomfortable for me?” “What specific things do I struggle with that impact my quality of life?”.
Some examples of these things could be:
● I get overwhelmed when too many noises are happening at the same time, when lights are too bright, or I am too hot or cold.
● I can’t focus on a task when it’s too quiet and I have to sit still.
● Certain social situations cause me a lot of anxiety; I’m never sure what I’m “supposed to” do or say.
● Speaking, or other ways of communicating, can be very difficult for me sometimes.
● I have to do some things a certain way or else I just can’t bring myself to do them at all.
● Trying new things can be very hard, and causes me anxiety.
We often learn to become very hard on ourselves about internal struggles, frequently due to unkind messages we hear from those around us, especially while we are still children and trying to understand the world. It IS a lot of work to unlearn such unkindnesses, truly a life-long practice, but I can tell you that it gets easier with time. And we can practice compassion for ourselves through others– learning about others who have similar and different experiences to us, and learning to turn some of that kindness inwards.
If you suspect you may be neurodivergent, or wish to seek ways to live more easily with a specific struggle you have, look for others who feel the same way! There are many resources online where people freely share their journeys of learning about themselves and how to construct their lives with self-accommodation. I urge you to seek some of them out! Though with any type of research, be mindful of who the source is, and WHY they may be sharing the information that they are sharing. Lived experience educators are often open and honest compared to some more medically-focused sources, but of course everyone has their own personal biases.
What about some tools to explore?
It may be helpful to try things such as:
● Noise-cancelling headphones; Earbuds (some filter noises rather than cancelling it all out, which are better for some settings)
● Weighted blankets; Compression vests (for anxiety/regulation)
● Fidget toys (to keep hands busy– there are many types to try!)
● Movement (some may feel more or less “socially appropriate”-- always prioritize your personal safety and needs)
● Clothing (what feels comfortable?)
If certain routines or habits feel best for you, embrace them! Especially on difficult days. There is no shame in needing to do something a specific way every time, needing to take sensory breaks, needing subtitles or written instructions, or eating the same food frequently. At the end of the day, everyone is trying to get through life the best they can, and that may look a bit different for some of us!
Whether or not you have or choose to pursue a diagnosis from a medical professional, it is never too early to start trying out ways you can make your day-to-day a bit more gentle on yourself. One day at a time, one breath at a time, it is within your power to grow more and more comfortable in your skin. You are not the only one with your struggles, and you are not alone with them, either.
Knowing when you may need extra support, and feeling empowered to seek it out, may be a piece of that journey for you. If you feel that speaking with a therapist, or creating art alongside them, would support you in this journey, please do not hesitate to schedule a free consultation! We are here to listen, and you are here because you were meant to be.
